do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
