im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
