yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
