I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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