dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
