i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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