Welp...herpes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
