adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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