Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
