Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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