three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
