In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
