you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
