So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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