what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
