Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
