operation have a gay friend backfired
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
