Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
