i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
