Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
