If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
