another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize