he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
