It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
