Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
