My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize