this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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