i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
