Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
