I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
