im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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