Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
