You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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