Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This is my gift to your gina
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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