You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize