Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
