So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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