I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
