I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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