Whod you bang
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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