Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need water and some morals
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
