so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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