We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
