ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
