Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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