If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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