And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
