so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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