the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
