check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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