Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
