I feel like abortions should bother me more
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
