that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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