Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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