Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
