are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
