hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
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