Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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