Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
