somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
