they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
