the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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