i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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