ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
