my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
