I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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