maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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