wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
