it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize