i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
